Trying to start living again instead of just "EXISTING"........ GOD promise me you will give me a chance......

I have been thinking about so many difficult things lately somewhere along the line I have forgotten about the ones who stood by me in this very difficult time in my life.  I am grateful to everyone that stopped by or called or texted, asking if there was anything I needed but, I just want to pick up the pieces and keep moving forward.  I feel like it is going to be a good day and then something else comes in the mail and it goes from ok now what do I do with this.  Some days I dislike even going to the mailbox but, I must as my Mother said stop being sad and be happy that is what your Gramps would have wanted from you not sadness.  I cry and she hugs me and holds me tight and then I ask myself how someone so loving as my Mother be such a "GOD SENT GIFT"... to me and I think of just how lucky I am to have to "BEST MOTHER IN THE WORLD"... She gets me good and bad she truly gets me :').  I miss her so much and I know that I am not doing the things I should be doing like watching my kids play and hearing them laugh and just smile and hug them tight because tomorrow is never a promise.  I want to start living again instead of just existing.......  I miss my Sister she has not idea just how much and I miss Caroline and JS and all of us being together and sharing laughs and crying and being what family is all about... I miss Vicky a friend from Ohio who I have never met in my life and she has become such a huge part of our lives I would be lost without her and her family.  I miss Gina she is a nut but I love her and her talking to me for hours and when I say hours I mean hours.... I think I just need a day to lay around and watch old movies and not be awake at 3:30 am but I had fallen asleep so early and at 9:50 the Boss woke me up and said are you gonna get up and I thought I had only dozed off for a few minutes it was more like 5  hours.  My body is sore I have been walking a the TREADMILL... GOD BLESS my Gramps I have no clue how he did that but I am getting there at least I can turn it on without falling off now.... HEEHHEHEHEHEH.  Ok I just heard my buzzer on washer and now to do one more load and then catch up on those stupid soaps I love so much.  I am glad to see they FINALLY CAUGHT that sick POS that did the bombing I was so sick of hearing that all week and hearing all the sadness in this world.... :'( Makes you think what is this world becoming......