The AFTERMATH.....

Well, today we went to finish cleaning up Gramps house and some of the neighbors came by the two that lived behind him with their three amazing dogs they were all so cute and they were fat fat fat one reminded me of my Mom's father Tippy that looked like a butterball... One looked like Rusty in the face and then some guy that the Boss asked to leave he came in and said may I look to see if I left a screwdriver in the back and at first I did not think anything and then the Boss caught him pulling things off the top counter above the washer and he said to the Boss did you check the attic we both looked at each other and then he got "THE LOOK"... The Boss said look guy I don't know you and it is time you leave he was quick about getting to the door... Then the sweet lady across the street she was black and so little she had a fire a while back and Gramps called 911 for her and let her kids stay with him until they got the fire put out and when she came to get the kids they were all asleep on his couch and had given them blankets and something to eat.  She hugged me and then pulled away I thought at first shoot did I stink and then she looked into my eyes and told me I was an ANGEL and he loved me with everything he had in his heart and she told me he was ok.  I cried....  After everything was done I asked the Boss and kids to give me a few minutes alone and they said ok... I shut the french doors and looked around this big empty house that brought back so many different memories for me as a child and a grown woman with children.  I felt a calm warm feeling and I swear I heard him tell me it was ok and it was time for me to let go... As I turned around to take one last look I swear I saw him and Gram holding hands smiling at me.... I shut the door and said goodbye for now but not forever.... I miss him dearly but now I know he is happy and no more pain and no more hurt... I will try to move forward and pick up the pieces and I know that is what he would want for me...  Today is Easter and a Happy Day my Mom will be over and I can get a hug my Mom gives the best hugs ever...  I told the kids that I was very sorry but the Easter Bunny would have to come another day to see them as him and I were very busy and they said it is ok Momma all we need is you.... I love them... Now I will sit here and try to make cards my computer was not wanting to do what I wanted it to do so I will try again if not out the window it goes..... LQTM.... April is around the corner and I sure hope it is better than March.... March nearly did me in.... So many things happened and I am ready to start FRESH..... Good night my loved ones... :')

A blog about my MOTHER....

Let me tell you all something about my MOTHER.... She is one of the best MOTHER'S anyone could ever have... I have been going through a very hard time lately and she always seems to help me get back on track.. I could never in a million years THANK HER FOR EVERYTHING she has done for me and my kids and the Boss.  She has been a GOD SENT GIFT... My Grandfather getting sick and her stepping up to help me even when she was sick as shit she was there.  No questions asked I called she came.  She is one of those people you can always COUNT ON "YOU KNOW" (insider) LQTM... She has listened, talked, cried and been there every single step of the way for me for many months.  I always tell her THANK YOU and it just never seems like it is enough to me... How do you Thank someone that helps you with everything... :0)  I know I have not always been the best daughter but I know now that I am her favorite "YOUNGEST DAUGHTER".. (insider)  She came over here today and many other days the past few weeks just to say hello and give me a HUG.. I love her hugs... She makes me laugh like no other and she makes me happy and she lets me VENT and she lets me scream and she lets me be me and she sure lets me cry... She is my diamond in the rough and I could never tell her enough how much she means to me.  We have had our ups and downs more ups than downs but she always give me the best advice and her opinion and that is what I need at that moment.  So today I want the whole world to know if you think you have a wonderful MOTHER.... My Mother is the best there is.. I love her like no-one else and I love her with all I have and with all that she made me today... Thank you Mom for being you and for being my Mom and BESTEST FRIEND EVER..... I love you so very much... Thank you for ALL YOU "DO, DID, DONE, DOING, and EVERYTHING...... XOXOXOOXXOOXO :0)   "JUST US 7" we will be getting that done next week I hope.... (insider) wink wink...

3/22/2013 RIP my SWEET GRAMPS... :'(

After a long month and a hard last 6 days Gramps has left this world to be with all his loved ones and I hope that he is having a blast.  It was very hard watching a man I admired and loved slip away but there is no more pain and he is HAPPY... He passed at 12:37 am I am still in shock and I am numb but I have family and friends and his memory to keep me from completely falling apart.  I will miss my three weekly calls and my weekly visits.  This Sunday is going to be one of the hardest things ever will be the first Sunday since 2001 that I will not go to see him or the Boss to go... My Mother is so sick and she was right there for me every single step of the way.. I have not even had a chance to THANK HER FOR EVERYTHING... The Boss was amazing and loving and even cried when the end was near.  My Sister stayed in touch every single time I texted or called.  They are what got me through this.. I am so grateful to my three MIRACLES.... :')  The kids were so super good for my Mom as she helped me so much in picking them up and getting sick at my house because it was 20 degrees in here and she could not turn off the AC, I feel awful she is so so sick.. But I got some of Gramps homemade chicken soup and I think that will perk her up.  The kids were also very good during the last month as I spent most of my time with Gramps.  And the last 6 days they were super super good they knew how hard it was for me and the helped out so much.  My sweetest super amazing Mother did so much for me I have not a clue in how to THANK HER... I could dust her house for her since she must have eye surgery and that will help her out a lot.. So I only have 1 appt that should take no longer than 30 minutes and then I will spend most of the week helping her I know that will not cover as much as she has done the past 6 months but it is a start.. wink wink... Ok I am off it is 1:13 am and I am wide awake since after Mom left around 5:21 this afternoon and I sat in my chair and slept until the Boss said hey it is past 9 are you going to move or stay there I thought I had spelt for 2 days but I needed it, did not here them leave to go get pizza or leave to go to Granny's or bath time or anything... That is some sad shit there.... Ok more later... I love you MOM, The Boss, my amazing kids, My BBS and JS & CG... Thank you for being my family.... I could never ask for anything more..... :')  Ps... I got two bowls of fudge... I am going to enjoy that and eat all that wonderful food my GRAMPS made before GOD took him into his arms.... One more thing I finally turned off the ringer on my land line since I have had it on for 2 months for Gramps to call when needed as I ate some fudge I then turned off the ringer and enjoyed it not scaring me to death every single time it rang... Gosh I am going to miss Gramps and our weekly talks and Sunday visits.... Ohhhh Geeeesh.. :/

Some many different things have happened...

It has been a really rough year so far, the cancer scare, the passing of 3 different loved animals all in 2-3 months and a beloved friend and old teacher Tina Odham passing away... It has become almost impossible to even get out of bed sometimes in the morning.... My Mom lost her other cat sweet Abigail I was in shock and my Mother was lost and scared but I was able to help her as she always does so much for me.... I know when I went over that she was not going to make it and I could see it in her eyes.. I think she died of a broken heart... Not that she was not loved by my Mother because she was but, I think she really missed Sasha or GOD just had other plans for her.  After Sasha and the Missy Snooks and Baby JJ I thought ok we are good for a while and then sweet Mrs. Odham my Mom's bestest bestest friend in the whole world died and I thought oh no how much more can my Mother take while we found out when she called about Abigator.. I felt so helpless but so needed all in one... I told my Mom how much I loved her and everything was going to be alright... Today she went a got her a new addition to the family.... She is so cute and loves my Mom so much her Name is Grace... I think my Mom is very happy with her choice and I am happy for her... It is very lonely when you are all alone.  I know it would not be long before she got a new one.  She looks like Wooshie the cat that nearly tore my arm off cutting her nails but Grace is Grey.. I am so happy for my Mom and I hope she enjoys her first night with her new baby Grace... :0) Sad times are coming and going but our love is stronger than ever... That is the best feeling in the world...  Abigator you are so deeply missed but I know you are happy to see your sister and cousins and many others from our past kiss them all for us and a special good night to you all.... We miss you all so much....

Mitten Moo Guzman

This is Mitten Moo aka Ding Dong aka Jitter Bug she is our newest family member after losing Snooks I thought I would never get another cat but I went to Petco to return somethings as after the lose of Snooks we also lost Baby JJ a tiny little hamster we loved dearly and when I went to just look at kittens there she was she was meowing at me and the lady said to me you know she had been there 3 weeks and nothing not playing or meowing now she had 4 brothers and sisters to lounge about but she seemed lonely as I after suffering a great lose of my bestest friend Missy Snooks.  I asked the lady if I could hold her and she starting loving on me and meowing and when I started to cry she licked my tears and our eyes met and the lady said shall I get her papers I say happily of course she is a GUZMAN now... I have not been able to get a really good picture of her yet as she is FAST Granny said to name her Flash... But she is now happy and Wooshie has warmed up to her after a little while. But I am glad we have her and I know Missy Snooks had me in mind for her the moment I saw her... Thank you Missy Snooks even though I still cry for you as Wooshie does.... Wooshie gets up where Snooks would lay and circles the area and meows for her still and it breaks my heart but she and Mitten Mooand they will become the best of friends......... I miss you Snooks!~!~!~! :')

Today it was a MIRACLE.....

I have been waiting so long to receive such a MIRACLE as today.. It has been a long 3 years and the last 6 months have nearly off me and my MOTHER and my family... But today 2/22/2013 I am CANCER FREE AMEN!~!~!  I have that huge spot on my neck which we all knew but for right now I will control with Doctor's care and a pill now and then and let my body be FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... :0) It was a awesome day.... I love you all that stood by me and loved me and hated me when I was a BITCH and I was a BITCH at times.. but now I will look at things more clearly calmer sweeter softer special and loving... I have some wonderful people in my life and I would not change a thing..... I did not spend all that time in the shower crying and being on my knees for nothing.... I got what I truly prayed for MY MIRACLE....

TESTING 1, 2, 3..............

CAN YOU READ THIS BLOG NOW MOMMIE DEAREST I do not know what it worse this or HARRY..................... LMFAO!~!~!~!~!~