Today was another day of rain and worry.....

We have as a family been doing a lot of worrying here lately on things we truly have no control over but, we are still human and we still worry.  I for one still worry enough for the whole family.  The Boss' families all live in the very hard hit area of Mexico he has been trying to get through to anyone over there can not.  I see the look of worry in his eye's even though he would never say a word about it.  He has been trying so hard to find a good job close to home but, that has been totally impossible.  But, I have faith that very soon the door will open for him and he will have a better job than he ever dreamed of one that does not take advantage of him and his kindness and his hard work of his loyal back breaking body.  I know this because my Mother told me so... ;) I love you, Mom~!~!  We had so much fun on Sunday with Granny and we get to spend her birthday with her and love her and shower her with gifts that I have so carefully picked out.  I have to take one thing back as they messed it up for a SECOND TIME.... But, they always say third time is a CHARM.  Well, at least it better be and no Mom it is not a CHARM.... LMAO!~!~!~  Tomorrow is going to be rough.  Tomorrow my Gramps would have been 95 and all his glory.  I still can't believe he is gone.  I will pick up my phone and say I am going to call him and then I remember I can't and I cry and think could I have done everything else better for him to make him want to fight to live longer for me.  The song "Don't" was on when he decided to turn off everything and I remember every single word.  Lots, of them he said to me.  A few were don't give up on me, we can do this, told me not to fight with the Boss he was a good hard working man and to not fuss over him.  Told me to "TRUST" and believe and always stand up for what I think is right even if I think in my heart I am wrong and "DON'T" ever forget to say that you are "SORRY" when needed.  It was so hard to watch him slip away but, he looked so happy.  So tomorrow will be rough and sad and love and joy and heart break and love a lot of love for someone who no matter how hard I tried never gave up on me.  Tomorrow I will celebrate his life with his wonderful memory of being the best man I have ever known in my "LIFETIME"..... And I will listen to the song "DON'T" and cry I am almost sure of it.  And then remember I got to do something most people never get to do and that was be with him until the end of his wonderful and amazing life with us!!!! After, I got the call not long after I left there and I helped the sweet young boy who looked like it was his first time at very seeing someone who had passed away along with myself and helping him lift him on to the bed to roll him in the car I felt a warm breeze through my body as the boy looked as surprised as I seemed and he asked me did I want him to walk me to my car.  I told him no I have someone walking with him at first I don't think he understood and then he smiling back at me and said ok, Laurajean..... And as I walked to the car it felts like it was miles away and I got in the car an cried and screamed for the man I loved so dearly (Even if I was crazier than a shit house rat) and slowly pulled away and on the radio was the song "DON'T"...... :')  I love you today and ALWAYS FOREVER IN MY HEART AND SOUL AND MIND......Frances Peter Haas 3/22/2013........