This is for my Mom I love you so much!~!~! :')

I love you Mom, with all I have and with everything that I am today!~!~ You are my everything today and everyday!~!~ You are never ALONE!~!~ I will always be there..... JUST us "7"......

Sometimes you just have to say what the heck.....

The last couple of months have been very stressful and over rated by so many things!!! I am going to STOP worrying about people who will not change and be POSITIVE!!! I have been through so much in the past few months that most people go through in a lifetime.  But, I will never lose my faith or who I have become.  It has not been easy I tell you but, it is the little things like getting a text or email or phone call asking if there is anything I can help you with or anything I can do for you and most of all HOW ARE YOU TODAY!~!  I only get these things for a few people and they know who they are and I love them deeply.  All the others who pretend and are fake I do not have time for you anymore or could I care less if you don't have time for me or to even respond than I hope you live a wonderful life ALONE.  And may GOD bless you!!!  I have no times for games life is too short for the BULLSHIT!~!~  I am me and I am done with all the crap that comes with it.  POSITIVE ONLY from now on and I think I am starting off very well...... :) I love the new feeling!!! Today, is Dylan's birthday he turns 11 I can not believe it.... It seems like yesterday I was bringing him home for HRMC and  he was so little.  My Mother is coming over and we are going to party down... All day and All night..... I must get to bed as the birthday fairy is very very sleepy hee hee`!~!~

Today was another day of rain and worry.....

We have as a family been doing a lot of worrying here lately on things we truly have no control over but, we are still human and we still worry.  I for one still worry enough for the whole family.  The Boss' families all live in the very hard hit area of Mexico he has been trying to get through to anyone over there can not.  I see the look of worry in his eye's even though he would never say a word about it.  He has been trying so hard to find a good job close to home but, that has been totally impossible.  But, I have faith that very soon the door will open for him and he will have a better job than he ever dreamed of one that does not take advantage of him and his kindness and his hard work of his loyal back breaking body.  I know this because my Mother told me so... ;) I love you, Mom~!~!  We had so much fun on Sunday with Granny and we get to spend her birthday with her and love her and shower her with gifts that I have so carefully picked out.  I have to take one thing back as they messed it up for a SECOND TIME.... But, they always say third time is a CHARM.  Well, at least it better be and no Mom it is not a CHARM.... LMAO!~!~!~  Tomorrow is going to be rough.  Tomorrow my Gramps would have been 95 and all his glory.  I still can't believe he is gone.  I will pick up my phone and say I am going to call him and then I remember I can't and I cry and think could I have done everything else better for him to make him want to fight to live longer for me.  The song "Don't" was on when he decided to turn off everything and I remember every single word.  Lots, of them he said to me.  A few were don't give up on me, we can do this, told me not to fight with the Boss he was a good hard working man and to not fuss over him.  Told me to "TRUST" and believe and always stand up for what I think is right even if I think in my heart I am wrong and "DON'T" ever forget to say that you are "SORRY" when needed.  It was so hard to watch him slip away but, he looked so happy.  So tomorrow will be rough and sad and love and joy and heart break and love a lot of love for someone who no matter how hard I tried never gave up on me.  Tomorrow I will celebrate his life with his wonderful memory of being the best man I have ever known in my "LIFETIME"..... And I will listen to the song "DON'T" and cry I am almost sure of it.  And then remember I got to do something most people never get to do and that was be with him until the end of his wonderful and amazing life with us!!!! After, I got the call not long after I left there and I helped the sweet young boy who looked like it was his first time at very seeing someone who had passed away along with myself and helping him lift him on to the bed to roll him in the car I felt a warm breeze through my body as the boy looked as surprised as I seemed and he asked me did I want him to walk me to my car.  I told him no I have someone walking with him at first I don't think he understood and then he smiling back at me and said ok, Laurajean..... And as I walked to the car it felts like it was miles away and I got in the car an cried and screamed for the man I loved so dearly (Even if I was crazier than a shit house rat) and slowly pulled away and on the radio was the song "DON'T"...... :')  I love you today and ALWAYS FOREVER IN MY HEART AND SOUL AND MIND......Frances Peter Haas 3/22/2013........

A little something "SPECIAL" for my Mother......

I wanted to write a very very very "SPECIAL" Thank you to my Mother for so many things and to tell her just how "GRATEFUL" I am to have such a wonderful Mother in my life.  She can light up the room with her smile, her laugh, her love, her listening ears, her shoulder to cry on, her ability to always have something for me to think deeply about in her wise words of wisdom.  She has been my "ROCK" for me and The Boss and my kids for so long now I could not ever imagine my life without her in it.  I wanted to Thank you for going with us on Monday, I know the man behind the chair (who will remain a secret) was so HAPPY to see you and knowing you were supporting me and the Boss meant the world to us both.  I so enjoyed you coming over on GRANDPARENT(S) DAY and letting us shower you with our love~!~!  But, most of all I want to Thank you for always being there for me when I feel I have no-one, or no where else to turn or talk to you are always there.  You and I have been through so much together and I appreciate you so much not just for always being there when I ask but, for the LOVE that comes with it.  It is something I can take to my grave and tell myself that my Mother loved me like no other.  You are so special not only to me but, to my family.  I love you for everything and for all YOU DO, DID, DONE, DOING to make sure we are going to make this a much easier thing to get through.  I know it seems like it is never going to end but, I am HEALING in more ways than one.  And that is because of you MOM~!~! :0)  I don't know what I would do without your love, caring, support and laughing so hard until we both pee~!~!  You amaze me and you have never let me down no matter HARD things have become and believe me they have become HARD but, with a lot of things down and a few more things to go I think we are on the ROAD of excellent HEALTH and HEALING and The Boss~!!~  I love you so very much Mom and there is no way I could say enough Thank You, Thank You, Thank You, in my lifetime but, I will try~!~! You are our world and Just us "7" for life.....  You will never know just how much your love and support has meant to me.  Much Much Love, Your Favorite "YOUNGEST" daughter and the Queen of run on sentences at your service.... BWAHHAAHHAHHAHHAH I am getting better ok, well maybe not today but, I am getting there... LMAO!~!! XOXOXOOOXOXOOXO THANK YOU MOM/SAL/ MD/ MaMi/Granny/Old lady Granny/Gran-Tan/Mother/Charrpo so many names for such a little woman!~!~!  Ps. That what we talked about today during our Mother & Daughter Day which is always so much fun is on it's way to the drop off and pick up place wink wink..... :0)  Things are looking up.  Now to deal with this health stuff and go back to my favorite Dr. of all times is going to be the best thing to make me well again as we talked about.  I feel LUCKY`!`  Muahhhhhhhhhhhh THANK YOU MOM FOR EVERYTHING!~!~!~!~! Pss. Thank you for getting Young Dylan his book as he seems to be a speed reader, I know he did not get that from me. Must have gotten it from his GRANNY!~!~! ;0)

Today was a very Happy Day and somewhat sad but, I only cried twice....

OMG!~!! I have never laughed and cried so much in one day with my family and my Mom today!!  We talked about Gramps a little and then I cried and then we laughed~~  The Boss cooked shrimp my Mom's favorite and I cooked a cake it was so good~!~  It was an Angel food cake with crushed pineapples and it was hum hum good.  She got me a glass with shells on it and told me it was from my Gramps again,I cried.... It's Footprints... The Lord replied "My precious child, I love you and I would never leave you.  During your times of trail and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."......... I told her that was prefect and that sometimes having only one set of Footprints is better than none at all... She smiled her smile at me and I got the Mom hug.  She watched the Boss chasing Young Dylan around the yard The Boss so trying so hard to catch him but, after a while he finally did and throw his ass in the pool.  We had a great day~~  I do miss my Gramps very much and since I have been having such a very hard time lately, today was the first Grandparents day without him.  He never made much of a fuss over any holiday but, we always made it special for him and my Mom~~~  My Mom got a few surprises and she was happy that we were all together Just us "7"........ Happy Granny's Day to you Mom.  And Happy Gramp's day to you Gramps I know you are watching from another room or looking down saying you are going to make it Laurajean I just know it...  The above cartoon is such an insider joke for my Mother BWAHHAHAHAHHAHHHA LMFAO!~!!~ It says so much!~!~!  Hee Hee!~~!  I love you Mom and I love you Gramps....... Thank you so much GOD for giving me two such amazing and awesome Grandparent(s) Gramps and My Mom.... I love my glass footprints!~~! And I love you!~!~! Ps. I am the Queen and PRIZE WINNER of the RUN ON SENTENCES.... BWAHHAHHAHHAHHHAHH

I have no words to tell anyone how I feel and I would not wish what is going on to anyone I know and love...

Today, was one of the days that I wished maybe I would have over spelt or maybe got some wonderful news or someone who saw me crying my eyes out, asked if there was anything they could say or do for me to help me.....  Well, that so did not happen but, my Mother cut her lunch short with her gal pals to come to my rescue AGAIN... More bad news!!!!!  But, what else is new anymore.  I dislike even answering the phone anymore because, I am always crying or something else went wrong.  I just want one day for some one to call me and say hey Laurajean is there anything I can do for you today to help you or make you laugh or smile or ANYTHING....  Since the lighting strike and losing the whole AC unit and not having house insurance since 1997 until 2013 makes me so mad I could spit nails... Now mind you, I have had the same insurance company since 1997 and yes until present day and they told me that I did not make my payment so my policy was a GONER... I thought oh heck no you are kidding me well, they were so not kidding.  With everything that was going on this year losing Gramps, Snooks, Jack, Sasha, Abigator, Baby JJ and having cancer and being locked in my daughter's room for 5 days alone while I had to listen to my kids cry for me outside the door house insurance was the last thing on my mind and since they send everything to the underwriter's first and then me I thought I was crazy.    The underwrites are blaming the insurance company and the insurance company is blaming the underwriters...  The girl that I have been dealing with since 1997 Mandy and Candy were like Laura we did not get anything from them so, I thought ok then they would look at my history of payments since 1997 and say she always paid on time before time we will give her a break.  Well, that did not work out so well either.. I thought you POS's that is ok.  Not, only that I got a refund of every year because, I made them before the time was due I might add. Still nothing so I paid $3767.42 for a new AC unit and also paid my new insurance policy at the same time now I am so mad I can not stand it.  So, yes that was a lot to take it this week and then I go for the D&C and bleeding more now than I was before.  I clearly asked Dr. Rings before any med's were in my body once I got done if I bleed can I use tampons and he said yes.  Now, I have an infection which I will probably end up having another surgery on top of another one at that... My body is falling apart I say.......  "Alice, off with her head I say"...... Went to the eye doctor and he said your glaucoma is getting really bad in the left eye.  I said I could have told you that for free JERK....  So, back there in 3 months.  Waiting to see Judge Shinholser on Monday about the official name change thingy and then he sends Cliff a notice saying I need all the children's finger prints I thought are you kidding me and the Boss's too.  Cliff said this was going to be so easy in and out... YEAH... So, I had to take the kids to get that done today, which I am really not happy with but, it had to be done so it is.  And then, I went for ultrasound we will not even go there just know this, another yes you guessed it another surgery.  So, now that is it now at this moment 12:00 this day is over and I never have to see it again THANK YOU GOD.... I know that they say GOD does not give us more than we can handle but, I told him today ok enough already can you get off my back you are breaking my legs, I have paid my dues or should I say I thought I had but, my mother said maybe he is just wanting to show you one more thing... I thought long and hard about that and said, Tomorrow is never a promise, Try harder to understand why people are the way they are and they are not EVER going to change and keep my faith a little more, get down on my knee's and beg more, do more for people you care about... I am so worn out I can not think of anything I am not doing right but, maybe that is my problem I am trying to hard to please everyone who really don't not care or see what I am going through and say I will help you somehow someway.  For now, I am going to let go and let my mind and body and heart and tummy rest and let GOD do the rest because, I have no fight left in me at this point and time.  This is probably one of the longest blogs ever but, I felt good to get it out and just say what I wanted in my way and my time.... Thank you Mom for coming over and trying to heal your youngest favorite daughter but, I think a 2 by 4 is needed sooner than later... I appreciate you cutting your lunch short to help me out in my awful time of need.  I know it is not easy for you or me but, we got each other always "JUST US 7"....... I am going to go eat a bunch of candy I hide from the kids and watch tv and maybe since HBO is on I can find something to take my mind off overdrive...  Until I can figure out me....... and what to do, I will be reflecting and pondering on my next blog.... INSIDER Mom LMAO!~!~!~  Today, is a new day even if it feels like all my days are the same I will try my best to make it a GREAT DAY~!~!~!

OMG it never seems to end..... :'(

We went out to get something to eat the other night and it was raining a little something new and different.  I believe it has rained for at least 39 days straight.. So we got down the road and I thought shoot did a hurricane form and hit us with a direct hit or what.  I starting lighting like crazy and I and the kids were kinda scared and you could not even see through the window shield then we saw a bunch of fire trucks and cops and ER trucks racing everywhere... When we got home the house was filled with smoke and I thought shit is my house going to burn down.  It was coming from the attic.  The Boss got it out and we saw that our AC took a direct hit.  I was oh no not the AC but, it would have been much worse the house could have went up in flames and the sweet man that came over said we were blessed because a few minutes more and it would have been a destroyed home.  I thought someone is truly watching over us.. Thank you Gramps ;) I know it was you!~!~  Bad news is we have no AC and we spend the night at Granny's well Young Dylan and Miss SkyeNina stayed at Granny's HOTEL but, little Dude who was always begging Granny to come over and sleep at her house as soon as we got in the bed he started to cry for his Daddie.  I told Granny that the kids would call me and she would never even know what time they left.   She called me and said what time did you come get the kids I said 6:50 am she said I never heard a thing.  We both laughed.  Dylan and SkyeNina talked about it for 2 days and this morning again.  They had a blast with her.  Thank you Mom for doing all you can to help me out these days it seems like one thing after another and another and another.  I went and took all my blood work this morning and yeah yeah yeah!~! Now I am on a mission to call and find someone who will do and ablation on me and not just a D&C I am not sure that will help and I am not going to do two surgeries because I am thinking I will be doing another with the thyroid thing again so I am not doing three.... Ok, I am off to make some calls... Later Peeps.  I sure hope the AC guys get here pretty soon I am sick of this madness..... :(    Ps. My quote for today...  "Worrying does not take away tomorrow's troubles, it takes away today's peace"...... ljhg