Here comes the rain.....

Lately, it has been raining at night and lighting and making all that noise in the back ground well, it started early today.  I have not been blogging much as everyone knows but, I have just had so much on my mind lately that I have to forget shit and let it go~!~  I have that feeling that you know when you do something for someone and then after you do it you really wished you had not well that is me today. I feel used and I know I deserve better I thought I was really helping this person and it turns out all they really wanted was to use me.  I have such a big heart and it is hard to say no but, lately and from now I will be saying "NO".... to whatever unless it is something I know will make me feel good about me!~!  We have some serious stuff going on and I am stressing which I no have no control over but, I can't help it that is just how I roll.  I am going to have to let me body and mind rest and let GOD do the rest because I just can not do it anymore truly.  I have not always been the best person in the world but, I have paid my dues and I will not let anyone or anything make me feel any different oh they try but, I will not let them defeat me anymore sure I have probably said the same thing over and over and over and now I am even getting sick of hearing myself say it.  So, today it is time for change like the rain it might rain for 5 minutes and then again it might rain for 5 hours.  I am done being someone I am not and living for me and my family and the rest is just that NOTHING..... feeling useless and used~!~!~!  Helloooooo in there Charlie Brown move over Laurajean Haas-Guzman needs some room.