I can not believe how fast this year went.....

So many different things happened this passed year some very sad things, some wonderful things, some heartbreaking things, and lots of surgeries.........  They started off sad in many different ways... First, we lost Little Sasha..... Then we lost Missy Snooks, Then we lost Abigail.... And then we lost Gramps G.  I was struggling with cancer of the thyroid taking care of three kids and taking care of him and trying to stay strong even though I was dying inside.  I think my Gramps stayed alive long enough to make sure I beat the cancer.  He was so happy when he found out I beat it.  Then, God decided it was time to take him back from us.  It was one the hardest things I have ever been through and I have been through some really rough and tough stuff.  I closed down for a while and was mad at everyone even the ones who loved me the most I shut out.  My Mom helped me so much this past year I would be in the crazy house if she was not there to tell me to get up, wash me face, brush my hair and smile.  It was so hard but, I did it!~!~  In doing so I lost for a while my sister Fran not because, I wanted to but, because I was angry at the world and it was not her fault.  She and I have not always seen eye to eye and she has her own life as I have mine but, I was angry because she was not grieving so, I thought I like was.  Everyone has there own way of grieving and I was sad, angry, hurt, disappointed and I felt let down.  I was already going through so many health issues and I was very TIRED and lonely.  We finally made up in our own way.  I miss having a big sister that I could talk to and hug and cry too but, she is always in my thoughts and mind and heart.  A very good friend of mine told me what other people do Laurajean as only she could say my name and me hear it differently.... "Laurjean what other people do is none of your business and I thought you know what she was so right.  I have always worn my heart on my shoulder and after a while I got sick of it getting knocked off and I thought ok, Laurajean it is time to start living and not just EXISTING and more forward that is what your Gramps would want you to do.  Tomorrow is the Boss and mine Anniversary 15 years but, been together for 19 years.... He is my blessing every day even when he makes me mad.   I got a really neat gift from him for Christmas and Anniversary new floors in the kitchen I will post a picture tomorrow it is BEAUTIFUL!~!~! He has been there like no other he has seen the good, the bad, and the ugly, and then some.  I had 4 surgeries and Grayson had one and I swear I can not do anymore surgeries even though the back specialist was too but, we shall see.  I have almost healed up from the last surgery but, still somewhat sore.  But, NO MORE PERIODS.  Now my luck my daughter will start and then I am moving to my Mom's LQTM...  Anyway, This year I am going to do what I say, I am going to be that friend that someone needs and can always count on,  I am starting FRESH!~!~!  I have always been LOYAL and CARING that will remain the same but, there are some changes a coming so be ready... 2014 just might be my lucky year..... :)

It is almost Christmas and 88 today is so not happening...

It is almost Christmas and it was 88 outside today... I am like over the heat..... BIG TIME.... I got all the wrapping of my Mother presents done today and SkyeNina and I had fun doing them together.  I see that we will be having another small cold front come in.  Being that winter started officially today so maybe we are in for some really cold weather.  It would be nice if it was really cold and for the first time in 19 years the Boss will not have to go to Sun Rays Groves and bust his ass for 110 a week during the cold weather, Poor Russell will have to do the work awwwwww GOD you are awesome... I have been getting better each day and the holidays are going to be a little hard this year the first few holidays without Gramps will be hard.  But, as I was talking to my Mom for the good night call we talked about making new memories and starting something new.  I think it is a GREAT idea.  Don't get me wrong I miss my Gramps with all my heart and tomorrow will be 9 months he has been gone... It seems like a lifetime already.  I miss his smell, I miss his words of such wise and comforting words.  I miss being called crazier than a shit house rat.  I miss his smile and small laughter.  I miss him and I really miss his hugs.  But, I have decided to make new happy memories of him and know that he is in a much better place and remember the wonderful times we had and celebrate his life not mourn it anymore.  It will not be easy but, losing a loved one never is but, there is a time to move forward and remember happiness.  We will are going over to Granny on Christmas eve and have tons of fun and Christmas lunch over here as always.  I am so blessed to have such and amazing family to be with because, their are so many that have no one or are away from home or lost or missing or saving lives or grieving somehow, I want to thank GOD I have my family to celebrate Christmas with and much love and happiness and much much laughter........ I don't want anything for Christmas I just want to be HAPPY and for this world to find PEACE...... Wouldn't that be AMAZING........... :')

Only 6 1/2 more days until CHRISTmas Break.......

No-one wants to say Merry Christmas anymore it is oh Happy Holidays~!~!  Well, I am not having that, I say Merrrrrrry Christmas to everyone and some people get pissy well, tough shit.... I am not going to have to say Happy Holidays like saying Merry Christmas is a HUGE CRIME.... I want to let people know that it is not all about the HOLIDAYS... It is about Love, Friends, Family and Giving. A there is a REASON for everything I say!~!~! Now, that it is 12:37 AM and I have to get up in 5 hours I am going to bed singing Merry Christmas to all and to all a GOOD NIGHT!~!~!~! LQTM!~!~!~!